Noisy Mask Leaks

The CPAP masks always leak and then they come off at night (all brands, all types). The headgear Velcro wears out too, so at some point you always have to MacGyver it to make it work, i.e. glue it, tie it in a knot or something. It never really works. Never. So, you try to sleep with air whistling out of the sides of the mask, but you wake up your wife and she say's “what are you doing?”, then somewhere between 3 and 4am you head for the couch. But no, it is not going to be that simple, no sleep for you! No, you can't sleep, you have to get in a huge fight with your wife. Then, in a sleep deprived rage, you th row the cpap across the room, smashing it against the wall.
You try to plug it back in, when you calm down, but now it rattles and so smoke starts bellowing out of it. Your wife is still yelling and it is obvious you are not going to be allowed to sleep. You start pacing, but it is dark so you kick the dog (accidentally); you step on the cat (accident); you finally wake up the kids (great!)…then you go outside to try and get some fresh air, but instead you trip the neighbor's motion sensor light. He goes to sleep at like 4pm, so like, he calls the cops.this Sucks. They show up with taszers drawn and think you are wearing a mask, which you are…a cpap mask. That same fricken' c-crap mask where you had to glue the Velcro back on and tie it behind your head…and it still didn't work. So sometime before dawn, you end up in jail with a mugshot where you have all these strap marks on your face from that frickin' c-crap mask… a frickin' cpap-crap- mask that you hate with every fiber of your being! Then you say to yourself (after your neighbor bails you out of jail), “I don't really snore that bad, so I don't think I need to wear a mask…yeah, that fricken cpap mask!”

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